Recognizing When You Are at a Crossroads.....It’s Not Always Easy

Over the years there have been many times when I could make the decision to go left or right and some of those decisions were agonizing. Truth is sometimes I didn’t even really realize I was at a crossroad that would alter the course of my life. It’s always easier looking in the rear view mirror and understanding how the road you chose shaped the rest of your journey but how do you know you are making the right decision when you don’t have a crystal ball to tell you how it will turn out on the other side?

[Photo Credit: Wix Images]

The answer of course is you don’t. But when I think of those moments sometimes they turned out the way I had hoped and sometimes they didn’t. I guess for most of us this is true but as I get older the desire to “get it right” every time seems more important than ever as you become more acutely aware that “this is it” and the realization of our limited time as well as the importance of letting go of the distractions that make it impossible for us to hear our inner voice. Many times we hold on to people, stuff or routines all the while knowing we are not where we need to be or want to be. Fear is a powerful deterrent to making changes but it comes at a cost or at least that is what I have found.

Maybe we don’t have to be locked in to a job we hate, maybe we can change where we live, maybe we can create a simpler life but to do that we may have to give up something or rethink how we see ourselves or even redefine what success and or happiness really means. I think when we hear the phrase “ you have the key to change your life but don’t seem to know how to use it” I think based on my own experience it is talking about resistance to the changes that need to be made in order to achieve the elusive things like happiness we really want or need.

Do you really need to drive a certain car to be happy , or live in a specific zip code or hold a certain job title with prestige to feed your ego. Only individually can we answer that question. Maybe you have always wanted to live in the Keys or Virgin Islands but you tell yourself you could never do that. Is that true or is it you unwilling to give up familiarity or possessions or a job with a certain income.

Life is short. Make an impact, Make a change, Live for today.....If you are in the middle of managing life choices you have already committed to then you may be stuck for now. Some of these may include raising kids and providing for them or caring for a loved one. But that won’t last forever. Don’t be afraid to redefine what happiness looks like to achieve what you want. Maybe you have been a banker all your life but have always longed to move to Colorado or live in the Islands. Maybe your dream job is a bartender at a resort instead of a suit with 9-5 hours and a 401k. That may bring you security but does it make you happy. Which is most important? Maybe both are to you but in the end who says you can’t take a chance and try it.

Banks will always be around and if you have always been good at what you do you can always come back. However, if you never try then you may never know. Remember, we only have ONE life to live. The time is always now to do what we yearn for. If you don’t like what you see around you or the life you have created then change it . Stop saying NO I can’t and renegotiate what you want. Stop telling yourself only other people get to do that. It is not true. For every problem there is a solution or possibly multiple ones. Focus on the solution not the problem. Always look for how to make something work even if it is an unconventional solution others may not approve of or understand.

Not long ago there was a friend struggling to find a job in the city they were in but were reluctant to move yet all the while continued to complain they couldn’t find the right position. My question was why not move? Unmarried and with little ties beyond friends they definitely could do it but were unwilling to make the changes to facilitate moving somewhere else with more or better options so they stayed in a cycle of unhappiness.

This is what I am talking about. If you can’t see things in a different way you will never be able to break out of your bubble. However, if you choose to stay in it then be sure it has all the things you want. If not, you will spend a good portion of your time longing for something else but it will be impossible to change it until you rethink what that bubble should look like or you are willing to pop it. You are the only one that has the power to make it happen. No one else cares about your happiness as much as you do nor can they make you feel happy if you aren’t.

XO & #StayCurious

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#JustSayYes