Money: Our Relationship with It

One of the biggest sources of arguments in many people’s relationships revolves around money. How we spend it, save it, invest it or our attachment to it says a lot about who we are and our personalities not to mention the journey we may have been on forming these habits. Usually our perception of money starts young and is greatly influenced by our parents and family. It is amazing how early on we understand the concept of money and how the world functions around it .

📸: Wix Images

My dad set up savings accounts at a local bank for all of us and when we would get money for birthdays or holidays we were always encouraged to save it. As I became a teen I for one was always thinking more about the relationship between money and a trip to the mall. From 15 on I bought almost all of my clothes that were not gifts for a birthday or holiday and worked pretty much from that point on in my life up until the present with the exception of a few years as a stay at home parent . I was rarely without a job since that age and have always known the power of money, the independence it brings, the turmoil it can create if there is not enough and the constant ying and yang of saving versus spending. My kids have had a different experience. I too taught them the value of saving but I also believe that there is power in giving yourself permission to spend and indulge in yourself with discipline and encouraging quality over quantity.

Over the years I came to value quality brands for their craftsmanship, longevity or uniqueness. As a kid it was all about finding the cheapest or least expensive version of what I longed for until I discovered Sebago Docksiders. I was 13 and would not be hoodwinked into any fake imitations and begged for them for Christmas. I was promptly told I could have 10 things instead of that one pair of shoes but I was set on the Docksiders and only Sebago would do. It was the gold standard of shoes in middle school and anything less would be a fail I could not endure with looks that would produce eye rolls or snickers.

I learned though that If I wanted something badly enough I would buy what I wanted in the quality I wanted or I wouldn’t get it at all. Having had my own money for my whole adult life I have always felt I had the freedom to do that . However, sometimes our philosophies don’t line up with a spouse or significant other and that can create tension. Compromise for me is what comes to mind but all situations are different. I would rather wait and get exactly the item I want instead of compromising on a product I will never be happy with because in my heart it didn’t have the qualities I valued. That right there is key. Everyone essentially perceives value differently based on many factors described above.

Money is power in our society whether we want it to be or not but it will only have power over us if we let it. Finding the right balance to do good works while enjoying your hardwork in earning money is tricky. Hard work, smart investments, learning to compromise or negotiate money issues in relationships should all come from a healthy place whenever possible. I find it is always important to keep in mind that it will very likely be an evolving process. The importance we decide or choose to put on money plays a big part on how we interact with it and can be very influential in our overall happiness in life.

XO & #StayCurious