Dad-Thanks for More Than Just the Memories

It’s hard to put in to words as an adult what impact a parent has had on you. Not too long ago I wrote a post about Mother’s Day and that was equally difficult to do justice to my Mother in a short blog post. When I think of my Dad two words immediately come to mind: Family & Flying. Right after that I would say he is the guy that taught us the importance of a strong work ethic, that there are no free lunches, life isn’t always fair and it’s not what you know sometimes but who you know. All pretty sound principles he passed on.

[📸: The Pink Soapbox]

Having family and flying as his two passions left little time for other things but he did manage to have some very interesting hobbies that I think inspired me to develop and honor some of my interests beyond work and family. For a time he made his own wine, took sailing lessons and was an avid lover of travel while living his dream of flying airplanes as a corporate pilot for many years. For him work was like play because one of the things that was almost as important to him as the the air he would breathe was his ability to get in the cockpit and fly off in to the clouds fulfilling his destiny every time he took off from the airport.

In fact, there is a famous poem that hung in our home when I was growing up that will always and forever remind me of my Dad. The words embody how he felt and still feels about flying. It is a poignant collection of phrases that all pilots must be able to relate to as they experience the freedom and power of floating high above the earth in the heavens. Now whenever I think of this poem I think of the family room where it was displayed for years and now in his office in the home he and my mom moved in to in 2006.

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Poet:

John Gillespie Magee Jr.

[Royal Canadian Air Force Pilot killed over England in a mid air collision that was an accident in December of 1941 at 19. Just a few months before he died he composed this poem and sent it to his parents]

HIGH FLIGHT

Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings; Sunward I’ve climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth Of sun-split clouds, – and done a hundred things You have not dreamed of – wheeled and soared and swung High in the sunlit silence. Hov’ring there, I’ve chased the shouting wind along, and flung My eager craft through footless halls of air…

Up, up the long, delirious burning blue I’ve topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace Where never lark, or ever eagle flew – And, while with silent, lifting mind I’ve trod The high untrespassed sanctity of space, Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.

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Growing up he was the provider in chief, grill master, loved his Saturday night Lawrence Welk reruns, always had the American flag flying on holidays, could be found many Saturday afternoons working on cars changing the oil in our driveway and would shine our shoes down in the basement making sure they looked their best to get just a few more months out of them, I also remember a few model airplanes he had built down in the basement as his prized possessions and later became a fan of tinkering with computers teaching himself the intricacies of wi-fi, email and navigating how to recover data from a hard drive that was seemingly MIA. He loves to figure things out and challenge his mind. I think that is what keeps him feeling young at heart.

He loved ice cream and in the summers growing up we would all go take a ride on a Friday or Saturday night to get out of the house grabbing a vanilla soft serve cone at the Dairy Queen that was not too far from the drive in movie theater we would go to as a treat every now and again. He was also the official pancake maker in our house and rarely missed a Sunday picking up donuts at the Mister Donut across the noisy highway about 2 minutes from our house. Then there were the holiday dinners carving the turkey along with plenty of Dad-isms which is what my brother and I called them disguised as advice trying to be hip and relevant to his teenage kids. One of the most famous ones I can think of is “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”. I lost track of how many times I’ve heard that one but as it turns out there was plenty of truth to that saying I came to learn over the years.

On a more serious note, I remember a specific instance when I was home from college one summer refusing to attend church because my belief system was shifting on this topic. It didn’t go over well and I later gave in to the ultimatum handed down to me with the familiar phrase “if you live under my roof....etc.....” After I stopped saying I wouldn’t go and changed my approach by diligently explaining to my father what my trepidation was with attending I found myself giving an in depth explanation of how I was starting to develop my own individual sense of what I believed or didn’t believe in terms of religion. To my surprise he actually listened. More importantly, he heard what I had to say. I was surprised in a good way when he more or less validated my thoughts saying he had experienced some of the questions I had over the years and that it was normal. Obviously his hope was that I would at some point want to attend church services again willingly but that did not happen. Eventually he accepted my decision to go in a different direction and as a parent now to grown children that is really all we can do if we are truly practicing “unconditional love”.

I think it was at that point when our relationship shifted from a parent-child relationship to more of a parent-coach/friend relationship. We both did our best to respect each other’s viewpoints over the years even when we didn’t agree. That doesn’t mean that everything is or was always perfect but it does mean that after the dust settled we both have done our best to move on from disagreements when they occurred. As the years have gone by and my dad has grown older I have seen him in a much more human light. When you look around and see your friends who have lost a parent or both parents you realize time is short and arguments along with disagreements are just an impediment to being able to spend the best quality time together enjoying the days you have left being on this earth at the same time. Happy Father‘s Day Dad!! I Love you :)