Been Serving Up an Emotional Brick Wall?? Why it is the Road to Nowhere....

If old enough most of us have been there. Where you may ask??? On the receiving end of an emotional brick wall hurled at us from out of the blue when we just didn’t see it coming. Not long ago I was talking with a friend that is single who met a new love interest and her story was disheartening yet so familiar.

She had been in an unhappy place for a while numb from an emotionally unfulfilled relationship she had been in for a while. Then without warning that all changed. She unexpectedly found someone she immediately connected with and felt the proverbial thunderbolt she had only felt one other time in her life. It was exciting, shocking, scary and truly transformational all at the same time she said. It was as if this other soul knew her thoughts and could read her feelings after only knowing her for a short time. It was one of those experiences she described as a once or twice in a lifetime thing. It was really about an immediate connection that felt truly amazing on an intellectual level and many other levels that was as stunning as it was rare.

[Photo Credit: Wix Images]

In this experience she was able to really connect again in a way she said she never thought she would be able to and it was exhilarating. There was an openness between them that was easy and organic. She said it just felt like it was meant to be until without warning after letting her defenses down along with fully letting this other person in to her soul in order to reveal her true authenticity they pulled back and served up what can only be described as an emotional brick wall slapping her in the face killing the mutual trust along with vulnerability that had developed. She was dumbfounded.

Unfortuantely this doesn’t seem to be an unusual tale the more I talked to others who had experienced something similar whether it be with a new found “friend”, work colleague you got close with too quickly or a romantic interest. The common theme was an abrupt turnaround that was seemingly unexplainable and never fully understood. Fear of intimacy whether with a friend or otherwise can kill a connection quicker than other foibles such as lying or being a phony. It begs the question Why??? What is it that makes it so hard to be “real” and keep it “real “ with another person.

Is it fear of judgement, fear of rejection or something else that robs someone’s ability to really get close with another human being leaving them lonely and not just alone. Of course past hurts and bad experiences almost always play a part. Being cautious is not only advisable but just plain smart if you have been through bad times or are still learning more about someone you are trying to entrust your authentic self with. However, when you constantly self protect, run away from something good that could be developing because of the unknown or fear then you are really running away to nowhere.

Nowhere is the place you go when you fail to connect because you are too scared to be vulnerable and open your heart or soul to another person. Emotional connectedness is complicated , sometimes messy , scary and revealing. This of course is why some throw up the brick wall and run the other way but end up on the losing end missing out on meaningful connections and are left with “what could have been‘s”. The only person that can save you from this happening is yourself. You have to be able to find a way to belive in vulnerability as your path to being free to really feeling connected and creating something meaningful worth nurturing with another person.

XO & #StayCurious